Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Fears and thoughts

Why can't a biopsy produce instant results? Waiting days, over a weekend, while my cells samples sit in line, behind others in line first, is agonizing.

I am 48 years old. I remember being 16, as if it were just a few years ago. If I didn't have a mirror to look at, and never saw my face, I could still be 16, in my mind. The only thing that makes me feel old is seeing the loss of hair and a few wrinkles in the mirror. Besides, I have been watching what I eat and trying to find time to exercise, worrying about my cholesterol level and blood pressure. These were obvious things to take care of. Why worry about cancer? Cancer is something virtually unknown to my family. But, then I remember, that Dr. Wotten and everything I read said that I had an 80% chance of getting a call saying it was absolutely fine. I tried to remember this, but you still know there is a 20% chance that the call would tell a different story.